Building an armour - Power of choice
Why is there a need to shield oneself from the excessive chatter around us
Upon the bank of the Nile at eventide, a hyena met a crocodile and they stopped and greeted one another.
The hyena spoke and said, “How goes the day with you, Sir?”
And the crocodile answered saying, “It goes badly with me. Sometimes in my pain and sorrow I weep, and then the creatures always say, ‘They are but crocodile tears.’ And this wounds me beyond all telling.”
Then the hyena said, “You speak of your pain and your sorrow, but think of me also, for a moment. I gaze at the beauty of the world, its wonders and its miracles, and out of sheer joy I laugh even as the day laughs. And then the people of the jungle say, ‘It is but the laughter of a hyena.’”
~Kahlil Gibran~
The first thought that crossed my mind when I read this simplistic yet poignant poem was that it is so true for all of us.
We don’t know anyone else’s story. We don’t know their journey, their triumphs, their sorrows and heartaches.
Yet, we judge. Time and again, we judge. Our limiting beliefs do not allow our minds to open up to the possibility that every person and his/her story is unique including our own. Their odyssey is based on their choices and their choices are based on the options they had available to choose from.
We shouldn’t be the ones to cast aspersions on their life stories, the choices they made, whether the sadness is genuine or whether the laughter is coming from the pit of the stomach.
Every story is unique. Their challenges are personal to them. They may not have the options that you had. They may not perceive the obstacles the way you and I may.
A persons feelings or emotions shouldn’t ever be up for debate. Everyone is allowed to feel what they feel.
The paths they choose are personal to them. The roads that they select will carve their destiny not yours.
Yet we are constantly surrounded by people who choose to consciously or even unconsciously judge all those around.
So what is the solution here ?
The obvious solution:
The rather obvious solution is to shield ourselves from those judgements and build an impenetrable armour. As long as you can justify your emotions, your choices to yourself. The noise around you, shouldn’t matter.
The solution is obvious but are the consequences of not being able to keep up that armor as obvious too ?
The repercussions if you choose not to shield yourself from the chatter around:
The consequences are what I wish to address because it is only when we understand the magnitude of damage these consequences cause that we may realise it is an imperative to build that armour, steeled with resilience and confidence.
Do you realize that if you are unable to adapt and live with this shield / armor that guards you against the unwittingly nonsensical chatter around, you will doom yourself one fine day. You already maybe, bit by bit.
Self-doubt isn't a mere hole in the ground that you fall into. It's an unsteady ladder that plummets you to an unknown treacherous well and despite the eerie terror and gloom you sense around you, you cant manage to scrounge your way out of that hell hole. Self doubt usually begins with external voices that we eventually convert into personal criticism. It is a lie that we have possibly heard repetitively, causing the “you” in our heads to become an “I”. The transition from the external voices to hearing the criticism in our own voice seems so natural that it may usually be even difficult to decipher if there was ever another voice at all in our heads.
And once you have reached the lowest low of self doubt, it leads to self shaming.
I once read that “Shame is perhaps our deepest source of hopelessness. It is our darkest voice, whispering all the things you don't want to believe are true, but... what if they are? It speaks in hypotheticals that sound like absolutes.”
And that shame will instigate you to perpetually penalize yourself. You will live a life believing that you are not and will never be enough. There isn’t a bigger and more dangerous lie in this world that you can impose on yourself and your being.
If you let other people steer your thinking, manipulate your mindset, change your perspective - and none for the better but to make you bitter and resent yourself for the person you are; then those people are really controlling your life and puppeteering you. You are not living, you are just merely existing as a puppet.
The choice is yours. It is always yours.
Do you want to live your life or you want other people to decide that for you. Trust me, there are plenty of people willing to decide your course of life. All they need is a mere chance to grab that opportunity to steer the course. So always remember, if you wont decide for yourself, someone else will.
Do you want other people to decide what should make you happy and sad or how should you be, when you feel happy or sad.
Do you want to live a life doubting your abilities and capabilities based on the opinion of others or do you want to flourish and soar the heights of happiness and peace cultivated from your own self worth.
Do you want to shame yourself because of a mere narrative, another person chose to give you, about you ! or do you wish to write your own narrative and be the author of your own story and fill the pages with colours and content of your own choosing.